Am i?

You know for years I have steadily convinced myself that I am not that much of a sensitive person, but then I thought about all the times I have cried alone in my room for little reasons or no reason at all,  or when I have literally thought the worst of myself, and a lot of times I even think that other people think lowly of me. I don't really like to go out places with people , I like to be alone most of the time so really it's easy to deceive myself into believing that nothing has/can/will bother...but what about those times I am actually with people, well I've been thinking about that...you see when I'm actually surrounded by bodies beside my own I tend use "coping mechanisms" as a way to get though social encounters such as: maladaptive daydreaming, self noise cancelation, perceiving most things as a joke, and if there is internet around I usually stay on that so I don't have to interact with people so much. [some of these things are helpful while the other things actually put me into a deeper state of anxiety] I believe I am highly emotional and literally the only time I am vulnerable to express my emotions is literally when I'm in prayer or reading my bible or at church mainly things that revolve around God. I have always wanted to be more vulnerable around people, but the very thought scares me ...I'm just gonna keep it in prayer and see what happens because I know the things I can't God can!n